Warning to all Residents!

ATTENTION!

All residents are advised to be on the lookout for a sudden outbreak of “Blanc Diapernia Siugio” spotted in the area. Nicknamed “The Diaper Slug” due to its resemblance with the infantile undergarment, this creature lies in wait while luring its prey with a tantalizing pheromone that has been noted to smell like baby powder. The pheromone acts as potent muscle relaxant, relaxing its prey until the moment it can strike. Once it has wrapped itself around a victims nether regions, it seals itself shut with an organic epoxy. Any attempts to remove it after this point have proven futile.

Once attached, the Diaper Slug coats its prey’s regions in a powder like substance with the same muscle relaxant effects, not only weakening the hosts legs so they can’t escape, but also temporary incontinence. The Diaper Slug then waits for the host to unconsciously relieve themselves and absorbs the waste into itself, occasionally stinging the host with a microscopic needle that stimulates the pleasure center of the brain, causing a brief moment of intense euphoria. Once the slug has had its fill, it will release itself and slither away. Said host will then suffer from lasting incontinence due to its potent powder, the length of which varies depending on amount of time attached.

If spotted, DO NOT APPROACH! Vacate the area as quietly as possible and contact the authorities for removal. Thank you.

• A Memo from City Council